So today I’m sick. Useful start! With the family out of the house, I can start making a battle plan.
For anyone into the 5 love languages scene, my wife is a GIFTS person. Gifts Gifts Gifts Gifts Gifts, through and through.
Me? There is almost not a gift-giving-caring-receiving bone in the entirety of my body.
Tension point for marriage? You bet.
One year, I came up with an amazing plan to give my wife one gift a month for her Christmas present – pretty good, right?
Wrong. I lasted until about May – and have been repenting ever since.
So, what is my strategy?
I know my wife is struggling in 2 areas with me: not being loved/romanced/valued (ie. I’ve not done the whole gift-y thang) and not being affirmed/valued in the home – this means that I’ve been undermining the things she says to the kids, treating her as if she’s my daughter and not an equal etc.
My problem is – these things can’t be changed overnight – they need consistency.
So, as forced as it may sound – here’s my first set of solutions (and I’d love to hear any other ideas at this point).
- Daily reminder – bless wife.
- I can’t imagine how many marriages smartphones have ruined – mine is going to save mine!
- Weekly plan
- Yup – each day of the week is going to be something else – whether it’s a prayer day, an encouragement day, a gift day -these things don’t come naturally to me, so I’m going to have to start by force
- Pray. Pray. Pray.
- Fully believe it – every great move of God started with a move of prayer. Someone wise once told me that – if God is going to change my marriage, I better get praying!
So. Off I go and do all of that. I’ll let you know how it goes!