The Love Book

This one is a tried and tested tip that I just wish I remembered myself most of the time… The Love Book. Yes, it does involve getting in touch with (and communicating) your more sentimental side, but also yes – it does make a difference!

It is really what it says on the tin – a book. It can be any kind of book, big, little, lots of pages, no pages – anything you can write in. And it’s purpose? To write things in! Encouragements, verses, kind words, praise, prayers, thank yous, pictures, art work, love poetry, songs, whatever takes your fancy… We’ve even used ours to deliver the odd surprise present, or start a good old fashioned treasure hunt…

My saddest admission right now is that the book that we started writing in when we got married almost 10 years ago… Has only just been finished. In 10 years. One measly book. Not proud of that.

So – in my new found desire to be a better husband, I went out and bought not one, but two today!

(That’s a double whammy – gifts and words in one. Jackpot)

I even wrote my first entry… My aim is to write in it at least once a week – it shouldn’t be too hard to say something nice that often, should it?!

Couple of nice words, tactically placed book on the pillow, and hopefully Bob’s your uncle and you have one blessed, loved & valued wife.

Simples.

Oh, and word of warning. Don’t. Ever. Use the book to try and give some ‘constructive criticism’. It is NOT the right place for it.

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Day One – Making a battle plan

So today I’m sick. Useful start! With the family out of the house, I can start making a battle plan.

For anyone into the 5 love languages scene, my wife is a GIFTS person. Gifts Gifts Gifts Gifts Gifts, through and through.

Me? There is almost not a gift-giving-caring-receiving bone in the entirety of my body.

Tension point for marriage? You bet.

One year, I came up with an amazing plan to give my wife one gift a month for her Christmas present – pretty good, right?

Wrong. I lasted until about May – and have been repenting ever since.

So, what is my strategy?

I know my wife is struggling in 2 areas with me: not being loved/romanced/valued (ie. I’ve not done the whole gift-y thang) and not being affirmed/valued in the home – this means that I’ve been undermining the things she says to the kids, treating her as if she’s my daughter and not an equal etc.

My problem is – these things can’t be changed overnight – they need consistency.

So, as forced as it may sound – here’s my first set of solutions (and I’d love to hear any other ideas at this point).

  1. Daily reminder – bless wife.
    1. I can’t imagine how many marriages smartphones have ruined – mine is going to save mine!
  2. Weekly plan
    1. Yup – each day of the week is going to be something else – whether it’s a prayer day, an encouragement day, a gift day -these things don’t come naturally to me, so I’m going to have to start by force
  3. Pray. Pray. Pray.
    1. Fully believe it – every great move of God started with a move of prayer. Someone wise once told me that – if God is going to change my marriage, I better get praying!

So. Off I go and do all of that. I’ll let you know how it goes!